I guess I have to start somewhere...

"Hello, internet.

I would like you to know how I feel about you. Internet, I both love and loathe you. All at once I'm addicted, and yet I wish you would go away. No doubt I'm going to say some things here that offend you, as well as the people on you. But I guess that's bound to happen."

The internet is both my best friend and my worst enemy, a case I'm sure is true for many of you as well. I love using the internet to gather information, play games, and talk to friends. My problem with the internet stems from other people desiring to use it for these purposes as well.

First thing's first. Spelling. Grammar. General use of the English language on a worldwide platform designed to help person "A" communicate with person "B". I'm not concerned with people who are from other countries, or genuinely don't speak English. No no, that's not what this is about. This is about all of you kind folks out there in internet land who choose to sound like a blithering idiot for no reason other than your own mental deficiency.

For instance, let's take the word "you". A simple enough word. Is it really so hard to add "yo" to "u"? I think not. I can understand shorthand in texting, when you have to press the same button multiple times to get the desired letter. But come on. When you have a full keyboard in front of you, there's really no excuse. This same concept applies to words like "why", "are", and a plethora of other extremely short words.

Being the avid internet nerd I am (much as I loathe the other individuals on it), I have taken to the native sport of my people, "World of Warcraft". I agree with anyone who refers to it as digital crack, and unfortunately I am addicted. "World of Warcraft" (hereafter referred to as "WoW") is only made more entertaining and enfuriating by my hatred other people on my internet. Yes, it is my internet. You see, in WoW, people tend to become far stupider than they may be in real life. For instance, a perfectly reasonable gentleman in his business day may suddenly start acting like a 12 year old girl hopped up on caffeine and cocaine once he logs on. I'm not being sexist, mind you. The vast majority of "female" characters in WoW are played by men (my roommate is one of these individuals. I am not). As this particular rant is about spelling, I'll keep it to that... For now.

Now, I will admit.. When I was younger, I had difficulty with consistently spelling the word "Rogue" properly. Mostly because I was unaware of the word "Rouge". WoW is the only place I have found where rogue can be misspelled continuously by multiple people without anyone noticing that it's wrong. It's really a pet peeve of mine to have words spelled properly, so it is mildly annoying to see. However, it's also entertaining, and I will reveal to you the secret of this joy... I am an asshole. Plain and simple. I am very much a jerk on the internet, especially to people who lack the basic mental capacity to properly spell a word. I'm not really mean to everyone, mind you, just the people who are mean to me back. Outside of that I'm more playful than anything. Here's how a usual argument will start due to a simple spelling error. "A" being the aforementioned idiot on my internet, "Dna" being myself.

A - Wat is a gud place for a rouge 2 lvl?
Dna - What's a rouge?
A - LOLZ my class rtard!
Dna - Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that cosmetic products were now playable classes. Or is it the color?
A - wat??
Dna - Rouge. It's a color. Pretty sure it's also a cosmetic. Unless, of course, you mean "rogue"...
A - Thts not how its speled! wtf!!1!!!!!1!
Dna - Are you sure? Hit the "c" button on your keyboard for me. How does Blizzard spell your class name?

From that point on it's usually a lengthy stream of profanities from "A", and several very witty and clever retorts from yours truly. What can I say, that's how I roll. The way I see it, I'm making the internet a better place, one idiot at a time.

I can't help it that I'm a stickler for spelling and grammar.

Don't you worry, internet.. Together, we can make it through this and save you. One rant at a time.