What can I say, I'm on a roll.

One failure of the internet down, only thousands to go.

This one is focused purely on WoW, so if you have no interest in said topic, skip along. I'll come back for you later.

Ready? Good.

People in WoW are generally people. This means that sometimes they're smart, sometimes they're reasonable, but the vast majority that you see on a regular basis are idiots. Idiots due not only to their failures in spelling and general knowledge, but idiots due to their failure to understand the basic concepts of the game.

My character in particular is a level 80 Blood Elf Paladin. This means that I'm the most normal looking race of the Horde (supposedly the bad guys, but not)... Which means Blizzard, the company responsible for WoW, decided we had to look like a race of metrosexuals with anime themed haircuts. Were it up to me, I would have chosen a different race for my Horde Pally, but alas, the Blood Elves are the only race that can choose said class. And all my friends played Horde, so there you have it. The fact that I'm a paladin means that in my class-specific gear I happen to look like a cross between a Power Ranger and a lightbulb. No joke. The "Tier" armor sets for Paladins are ridiculous in appearance.. Tier 1 includes odd points of gold that look like bananas. Tier 2 is the only nice looking one, but only from the waist up, as below that is a skirt. Tiers 4, 5, and 6 are full of flashy lights and crystals, and generally make us look like walking disco balls. Tier 7 is kind of ok.

Anyway, level 80 paladin. Lightbulb. Lightbulb with a shield, to be more precise. If you look up at the URL for this blog, where it says "lightbulbdna", that's a reference to my WoW character, as I tend to be playing the game when I get annoyed with the internet. As a paladin, I can fill any roll in the game, but realistically only one at a time. I choose to be a "tank", meaning I make things hit me until they die. I make them hate me more than life itself, which is what leads to this death. Because that's how I roll. By contrast, a "dps" attacks whatever hates me in order to make it die faster, and a "healer" does just that... They heal me so that I don't die first.

So, when a healer is an idiot and doesn't understand how to play the game, what do you think happens? That's correct, class. The tank dies. So now I'm dead, and whatever was hitting me repeatedly (reminder: I'm a lightbulb with a shield, meaning I can take those hits fairly well) is no longer hitting me. With my death, the "npc" (non-player character) and I are now cool. He/she/it has no beef with me.

What it does have, however, is a beef with everyone still alive. Usually starting with the healer ("Curse you for healing that tank! It hurts to punch a shield!") the npc goes on a rampage, slaughtering all virtual entities in his path until none remain. This is referred to as a "wipe." So when a wipe happens, there are usually only two people to blame... The tank, for not being able to take a hit, or the healer, for not keeping the tank alive. Just to make sure we're clear, I can take a hit. I'm a rather durable lightbulb, with a big metal case surrounding me. This means that 9 times out of 10, if there's a wipe when I'm tanking, it's the healers fault. That other 10 percent is usually me not paying attention, and making large groups of virtual people want to kill me.

I've healed before. I know how it works. Remember, I'm a paladin, it's one of those things I can do. So I know that when a tank is getting hit, taking 3 to 5 seconds between landing a heal on them isn't going to keep them alive as well as, say, taking 1.5 seconds. I know it's a short time, but in the game it's forever. So once I hit level 80, I started tanking "instances" (you and a party of friends clear out a dungeon of all residents, for the promise of gold and glory. And cake.) and so I started meeting several healers. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are very very bad.

For instance the gentleman who felt that the only way to heal a tank is to throw the largest spell he has, over and over. This is not effective. This is the opposite of effective. This is basically telling me that I hate myself and I want to die. Big heals means big cast time. Big cast time means no heals in between. No heals means Dna takes a nap on the cold floor. From what I understand, the most effective way to heal a tank is to get enough gear on so that your little heals act like big heals. That way, instead of leaving me to get pummeled for 4 seconds, I'm only getting hit for 1.5. This means I continue to live, the healer lives, and we all have cake. People who make it to 80 without understanding the way this works need to be... Well.. not level 80 (the current level cap).

I can honestly say my biggest annoyance in WoW outside of spelling is people who fail at their assigned task.

Second biggest are people that are genuinely stupid.

There is a young gentleman in the guild my paladin is in. I tend to refer to him as a girl, mostly because he sounds like one on voice chat. My paladin is not the only character I play, however. I have many characters, all of which are on the same server, meaning I play with the same bunch of gamers every time I log in. This particular story involves another character of mine, a Death Knight. Think the opposite of paladin, and thats basically what a DK is.

So anyway, I'm working on leveling up this death knight, as he is not level 80. Part of this involves questing, and this particular quest involves killing a certain type of NPC repeatedly for a crazy old man that lives in a mud house. This particular NPC also grants reputation with a certain faction. A faction that, when you have achieved maximum reputation with them, sells a particular type of "mount" (horse, wolf, etc... Things that you ride from point A to point B to go faster).

I'm killing these NPCs on my death knight, minding my own business, grinding out the quest, when I see this young gentlemanlady run past me to kill one of the NPCs I need. Thinking nothing of it, I go to find another one to kill. Then I get a private message...

"F*** OFF. GO AWAY"

Now, this child is a level 80 character. The area I am in is for levels 64-68 to quest and gain experience so they can level. Seeing as he gains no experience from this, and I do, it is now time for me to be a jerk. I won't bore you with the conversation that followed... Just know that it involved a lot of profanities on the part of this child, and a lot of clever and witty retorts from me.

What I will bore you with is the voice chat that followed. I logged into Ventrilo (the voice chat program our guild happens to use), and start talking to everyone there. Soon, the child in question yells at me to get out of his area. Mind you, at this point I'm a jerk. So I deny all knowledge of the character he's referring to, especially since no one on at that point knew said character was me. Our friend the child continues to throw a fit, so I ask him what seems to be the problem with this individual he's dealing with...

"Freakin Dr. Horrible keeps on stealing my mobs! I'm trying to farm rep in Nagrand so I can buy a Talbuk!"... Drhorrible - The Death Knight. Nagrand - The Area. Talbuk - The fancy horse.

Now mind you, Drhorrible is the appropriate level and was completing quests. Our friend was being quite silly when he made his argument, as it allowed me to be more of a jerk.

"So you're telling me that this... What level is he? 65? Death Knight, who by all rights should be there to level, is stealing YOUR... A level 80 warrior... Stealing YOUR mobs? Something about this seems quite backwards... Hmm..." ...Mob - Another term for NPC.

Within moments the rest of chat is ridiculing him for his poor choices. Since this event, they have learned it was in fact me on Drhorrible. It is also worth noting that this individual has not repeated his previous mistake. Another clear cut case of a jerk making a difference in the world.

You're welcome, Internet. That one's free.