On internet security

Today we're going to talk about a special type of person. The person who thinks the internet is "private"...

It's important to note that the internet is a global information sharing network. This is different from your home PC. Your home PC can be disconnected from sharing information with the rest of the world, and this information on it can be (relatively) private.

The internet is not the same. Anything that is on the internet and can be accessed by you can be accessed by someone else, provided they want to see it enough. This is what leads to things like identity theft, discovering adultery, and finding out where your roommate is hiding his stash of candy.

Wise up, people. The internet does have areas which are secure, or protected, but they are not by any means impervious. Take your email for instance. Sure, it's got a password on it. Fancy. But there are programs out there which can figure out those passwords, no matter how complex, given time. Then you have businesses which allow you to pay online by secure check or credit card. Are they secure? For the most part. Are they encrypted for your safety, like the little icon says? Most definetely. Still not perfect, otherwise there would be far less identity theft in the world today.

This isn't to say that you should be afraid of using your credit/debit card or checks to pay for things on the internet. For me to suggest that would be hypocritical, especially since I've paid for at least 4 things online in the past week. Any reputable company provides protection from liability for false transactions, and I know for a fact my bank does. I know this for a fact because I've had false charges appear on my statement before (misposted to my account, not fraud) and they explained it to me at great length. So go ahead and use that Visa to buy your new trinket on eBay.

Go ahead.

Done shopping? Great. Now, the reason that I bring this up is because, as we all know, the internet is full of stupid people. For instance, a female friend of mine, whom we shall refer to as Susan. I choose this name because I know, at the most, 3 women named Susan, and have not spoken to any of them in a considerable period of time. So if they read this, they know it's not them.

Susan is, for all intents and purposes, an idiot. Fun to hang out with, fun to talk to, pretty to look at, but stupider than a box of stupid. Susan was trying to explain to me recently how everything on the internet is secure and private. I calmly told Susan that she was an idiot.

"You see, Susan..." I explained, "The internet is a global information tool... Anyone on the internet can access anything on the internet, provided they have the time and the proper tools. Nothing is ever really secure there."

"But almighty Dna!" she replied, "Of course it's secure! If I write in my myspace livejournal xanga facebook, no one else can ever see it!"

It was at this point that I, almighty Dna, choose to show her the folly of her beliefs.

I logged into her email.

For those of you not "in the know", it is a good idea to choose a password that has nothing to do with you, your loved ones, or your username. It is not, for instance, a wise decision to make your password your highschool sweetheart's name. This was the downfall of Susan.

Having proven my point, I was confident that another person would now be more educated on the internet, or as people of her stature refer to it, the interweb. I was incorrect.

"OMG YOU'RE A HACKER! YOU STOLE MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER!!"

"Why no, Susan, you spoony bard. I did nothing of the sort. You picked a terrible password. I have proven my point, the internet is not, and never was, 100% secure."

Susan has, for the record, relented in her accusations that I stole her banking information. She has also, I hope, changed her passwords.

But let her shortcoming be a lesson to all others who prowl the internet! Nothing is ever 100% secure! Except of course unplugging your connection. But outside of that, nothing is 100% secure! Change your passwords often (I change mine every 2-3 months, or when I feel like it), and don't make them silly things! And if you DO make your password something easy to guess, throw some numbers in the middle.

Also, if your identity is stolen and it is due to your use of credit cards and such on the internet, I am sorry for your hardship. It is a serious problem in the world today, and not one that is likely to disappear soon. But, if it is NOT stolen through that method, and you claim it is, kindly walk outside and kick a tree. Kick it very hard, and let the pain of your possibly broken foot remind you not to be an idiot.